make sure your love is unconditional. make sure you love people in all kinds of "weather". or else what is the use if we love a person only when he is good or she is nice? when i need the people most thats when they leave me. all the time. so please, i hope you wont be like that. we always have to consider the other party, your companions situation and mood. maybe hes in difficulty right now. thats why his mood is not so sweet.
maybe she has so much work to do and so many headaches, so she cannot be so darling like usual. that time is the time when we need to show our most noble quality, the way we want ourselves to not that if you are sweet to that person then he will love you more. maybe he will, maybe he wont. but that is not the point to be good and to be noble. to be good, to be noble is for ourselves because we choose to be that way, we want to keep being that way, and we feel good about it. its not because, "okay, now he needs me more. if i show more sympathy, then our love will be stronger"; its not even to be most of the time we fail the test. when people are in most difficulty, we just leave them, or we are cold and indifferent. "oh, youre not nice to me. all right, all right.";"youll come and need me soon."; of course they will. when theyre in a better mood, when everything goes better, of course theyll come around. but then its too late. then it is not love anymore. its just a need for each other. thats different, because you are used to each other and you need each other sometimes out of habit, out of convenience, out of financial security reasons -- anything. but its not true love.
true love always prevails ,true love is we stick together in "thick and thin";. especially when its thin, when its troublesome. then we should really bridge over the "troubled water". thats what they say in english. but most of us fail the test, to ourselves, not to our partners. he might leave you, he might stay with you, because youre nice or not nice. but you fail yourself. you leave yourself. you leave the most noble being that you really are. so we should check up on this to our family members or whomever that is beloved and dear to us. most of the time in critical situations, we just turn our backs and that is no good.
of course we have our anger, our frustrations, because our partners are not as loving as usual, or whomever that is; but he or she is in a different situation. at that time, she or he is in mental suffering. its just as bad or even worse than physical suffering. physical suffering you can take a pill or you can have an injection and it stops or at least temporarily stops, and you feel the effect right away; or at least if people are in physical suffering, everyone sympathizes with when they are in mental anguish, and we pound them more on that, and we turn our backs and become cold and indifferent, that is even more cruel, even worse. that person will be swimming alone in suffering. and especially they trust us as the net of kin, the net person, the one that they think they can rely on in times of need; and then at that time, we just turn around and are snobbish, because they didnt treat us nice so we just want to revenge. thats not the time. you can revenge later, when hes in better shape. just slap him.
actually, at that time, the person is not his usual self anymore. he was probably under very great pressure that he lost his own control. its not really lost his own control, but for eample, when you are in a hurry, your talk is different. right? "hand me that coat! quick! quick! quick!" things like that. but normally, you would say "honey, please, can you give me that coat." is that not so? (audience: yes.) or when youre in pain -- for eample stomach pain, heartache or whatever -- you scream loudly; and anyone who comes to talk to you, you dont talk in the usual way anymore, because youre in pain.
similarly, when you are in a mental or psychological pain, you talk also in a very grouchy way, very cross. but that is understandable. so if we -- any so-called loving partner or family member -- do not understand even this very least, very basic concept, then were finished. then we are really in a bad situation. its not that the partner will do anything to us. whether he does anything to us later or not, that is no problem. the problem is us. the problem is we degrade ourselves, that we make less of a being of ourselves than we should be, than we are supposed to be, or that we really are. so do not make less of a being of yourselves.
学识谷
