国中英语作文范文Talkaboutmyself评析

Talk about myself

My name is zhangPing fifteen years old. I live in BeiJing. One of my favorite subjects is biology. I am interested in drawing . In my free time, I often go camping, draw some picturesof plants, enjoy the songs of birds in nature. I want to be a biologist when I grow up .I am outgoing and like talking to d you like to make friends with me ? If we can be friends, I will be very glad

1.“picturesof”应改为.“pictures of”

2.文章结尾略显不畅通，建议再写出你交友的要求标准联系方式较好。例如：I like making friends who are outgoing like me,Would you like to be my friend? If you’d like to,please call me at …. I will be very glad.

3.“…picturesof plants, enjoy the …”改为.“…picturesof plants and enjoy the …”注意并列结构最后一个成分常用and 连接。

文章语句连贯，句意完整，标点正确，有较强的连词组句能力和扎实的'英语基础。我认为除结尾以外，是一篇优秀的短文。