man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second" 一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝説:"一秒鐘."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 兩個獵人進森林裏打獵，其中一個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。接線員沉着地説：“第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經死亡。”於是，接線員在電話裏聽到一聲槍響，然後聽到那獵人接着問：“第二步怎辦?”
Talking clock
會説話的鐘
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big bragong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
一個學生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那個大銅鑼和錘子是幹什麼用的?”他的一個朋友問他。“那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個會説話的鐘”，學生回答。“這鐘怎麼工作的”，他的朋友問。“看着，別眨眼了”，那學生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽到隔壁牆那邊有人狂叫，“別敲了，你這白痴!現在是凌晨兩點鐘了!”
Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
長壽祕訣
一位女士走向坐在門廊的椅子上搖動的小老頭。
“我無意中發現，你是多麼幸福，”那女士説。“你幸福而長壽的`祕密是什麼?”
“我每天抽三包煙，每週喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來不曾鍛鍊。”
“哦，真神奇，”女士説。“你高壽?” 回答人的補充 2010-03-20 20:07
中文翻譯：有一個自以為很懂英語的中國人不小心撞到了一個外國人，於是他説：“sroyy。”那個外國人認為自己也有錯，就説“sroyy too。”中國人以為是one tow three的tow，就又説“sroyy three。” 外國人不明白，於是問：“sroyy for?” 中國人以為是英文4 ，便又説sroyy five
英文翻譯：Think they really understand them there is an English-Chinese people do not care hit a foreigner, so he said: "sroyy." That foreigners think they are wrong, say "sroyy too." Chinese people thought it was one tow three of the tow , it said "sroyy three." Foreigners do not understand, then asked: "sroyy for?" Chinese people thought it was in English 4, in turn, said "sroyy five."
學識谷
