爆笑英语笑话带翻译

冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力,一时间大红大紫。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

A school report

学校成绩单

The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,

父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：

"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

A Smart Parrot

聪明的鹦鹉

A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

有个人去宠物店买鹦鹉。在那里，他看见有只鹦鹉的左腿被红线系住，右腿则被绿线系住。对此他感到不解，于是他问该店的老板，老板回答说：“这只鹦鹉受过特殊的训练。如果拉红线，它就讲法语，拉绿线，它则讲德语。”

"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

这个好奇的人接着问，“要是我两条线都拉，会怎么样呢?”

"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

“我就会掉下来了，你这个傻瓜!!”鹦鹉尖叫着说。

Clever Bobby

聪明的'博比

Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.

布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。 布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."

布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”

He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe(长颈鹿).

他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。

"What's that, Bobby?"

“博比，这是什么?”

"Horsey," said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

“马马，”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸!”